I promise I'm really trying to write more in this blog!! This is busy time for me at school; we only have 6 more weeks left. Hopefully I can get myself together to become more devoted to writing here! First, thank you all so much for your sweet comments and support from my last entry. Your words of encouragement are greatly appreciated. There are days when I wish I were closer to you "triangle" girls but I know God has us here for a reason. The adoption support groups just aren't here and those that have adopted here seem to keep to themselves. Maybe I need to change this :)
Now for the latest happenings around here. We had a great Easter. Garrett quickly learned the act of picking up Easter eggs. He was a pro! They had a little egg hunt at his school and his teacher told me that they were all running around picking up eggs. She said the next thing she knew, Garrett had "discovered" there was candy in them and he sat down and started eating! It was pretty funny. We took him to an egg hunt here at the battleship and he loved it. Our niece and nephew went with us to help him. He also rode on a pony which he loved.
He continues to talk up a storm. He now tells us "I got it" or "I do it". My little baby is now becoming a big boy who likes to try to be independent. I love hearing him talk though especially when you get those unsoliciated "I love you's"! We also tried working with the potty. Ugh, disaster! He went one day at school and his teachers told us that they thought he was ready. They suggested going to straight to underwear because they don't like to be wet. We tried it for a day and he was kicking and screaming going to the potty. We decided to wait. Obviously he's not ready having those kinds of meltdowns. We let him go now when he tells us and we'll work on it more when I'm out of school for summer. That way we can just stay at home and practice :)
Over the weekend, he also learned to climb out of his crib. He did it once and then we put him back in just to see if he'd do it again and sure enough he climbed right out. He's smart enough to put one leg over and then hold on with his hands so he doesn't fall out :) After the second time of "escaping" he came running down the hall and told us "Here I come." Both Tommy and I cracked up laughing at him. It was too funny. This weekend's project is to transform the crib into a toddler bed :( I can't believe how much he's grown!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Update time :)
Each time I think I'm going to do better with updating the blog, something else comes up :)
But I'm really trying to make a commitment to record my thoughts on here. I won't lie, it's been a tough month. From Tommy's "heart health" to making a decision about what to do as far as the next baby is concerned, it's been a little overwhelming. I still find myself in that rut of "fitting in" too. I remember having these feelings when we were going through infertility treatments. It seemed as though everyone around me was having children and I was just stuck on the sidelines. Now that I have a child, and don't get me wrong-I love him to pieces and he's filled that void that was there, but it still feels like I'm trying to find my place. I go to events and women talk about pregnancies and child birthing, something that I know nothing about as far as personal experience goes. I think often times they forget because Garrett looks so much like me. My story is different. I came to motherhood through a much different route than most others. I want Garrett to have some buddies to play with and friends to grow up with but it's so different now to find your niche if you will. I'm praying that God just continues to open doors in this area; that He'll lead us to friends who accept us with open arms into these circles. I've wanted to write this for some time but just could never get those words out. I really am fine but I guess I'm just longing for those deep rooted friendships that are often so hard to find.
Tommy finally had his cardioversion and it went well. He's back in normal rhythm again and we met with 2 doctors at Duke last week. The first was with a congenital cardiologist that specializes with adults. He was great. He explained what Tommy's heart looks like and told us that while he can't do anything to change his heart, he can continue his daily exercise and limit the salt intake to help out. That way the heart won't have to work as hard. He said the things he has going on now, leaking valve, enlarged heart in areas, isn't uncommon for people who were born with the same defect. Then we met with the heart transplant doctor. He was as equally great! He told us that he expected to walk in and see someone who looked sick and that wasn't at all the case. He said that there is a possibility that Tommy could live his life and die with his heart and he also said that he, at some point, would be a good candidate for a heart transplant. But he said, you're 37; let's save that talk for when you're 60. That was a relief. We know that most heart transplants only live for 10-12 years if there's no issues with rejections. I pray that they can maintain his health for a long, long time and then we can cross that path when we're in our 80s :) They both are going to keep an eye on him and they took some baseline tests so that way they'll know if things start to get worse. They also were both in favor of the new device for monitoring heart failure but both said to wait until the battery needs to be changed in his current device (probably next year). So that's where we are with all of that :)
We are still praying and trying to find God's way for the next baby. I feel like there's one more out there for us and like I said earlier, I would love for Garrett to have a sibling. I don't see us doing anything until next year some time. That way we can make sure Tommy is on the upswing and will give us more time to get the finances in order :) We've also learned about a local agency and may meet with them to find out how their services work. I'll be honest, while we loved working with Bethany for Garrett's adoption, when we started back up for the second one, they had no idea of who we were. That's a little disappointing especially when you've invested that much money into an organization. So I'm not sure what we'll do about that route yet either. But I do know God will show us His way :)
Garrett is continuing to be the sweetest boy ever. He's talking more and more each day and I love to listen to him. His newest concern is asking "are you ok" and he'll ask until you give him a response, even if he's talking to himself :) He loves the beach and talks about going all the time. Last week I had "spring" break and we went to Myrtle Beach for the weekend. We took him to a resort that had an indoor kiddie water area and lazy river and he loved it. Every morning he would wake up, look outside and see the beach and then ask to go swimming. He's definitely a water baby. What makes my heart gleam even more is he is definitely a mama's boy :)
Continue to pray for us that we would not grow weary and that we'll continue to seek what God has in store for us!
But I'm really trying to make a commitment to record my thoughts on here. I won't lie, it's been a tough month. From Tommy's "heart health" to making a decision about what to do as far as the next baby is concerned, it's been a little overwhelming. I still find myself in that rut of "fitting in" too. I remember having these feelings when we were going through infertility treatments. It seemed as though everyone around me was having children and I was just stuck on the sidelines. Now that I have a child, and don't get me wrong-I love him to pieces and he's filled that void that was there, but it still feels like I'm trying to find my place. I go to events and women talk about pregnancies and child birthing, something that I know nothing about as far as personal experience goes. I think often times they forget because Garrett looks so much like me. My story is different. I came to motherhood through a much different route than most others. I want Garrett to have some buddies to play with and friends to grow up with but it's so different now to find your niche if you will. I'm praying that God just continues to open doors in this area; that He'll lead us to friends who accept us with open arms into these circles. I've wanted to write this for some time but just could never get those words out. I really am fine but I guess I'm just longing for those deep rooted friendships that are often so hard to find.
Tommy finally had his cardioversion and it went well. He's back in normal rhythm again and we met with 2 doctors at Duke last week. The first was with a congenital cardiologist that specializes with adults. He was great. He explained what Tommy's heart looks like and told us that while he can't do anything to change his heart, he can continue his daily exercise and limit the salt intake to help out. That way the heart won't have to work as hard. He said the things he has going on now, leaking valve, enlarged heart in areas, isn't uncommon for people who were born with the same defect. Then we met with the heart transplant doctor. He was as equally great! He told us that he expected to walk in and see someone who looked sick and that wasn't at all the case. He said that there is a possibility that Tommy could live his life and die with his heart and he also said that he, at some point, would be a good candidate for a heart transplant. But he said, you're 37; let's save that talk for when you're 60. That was a relief. We know that most heart transplants only live for 10-12 years if there's no issues with rejections. I pray that they can maintain his health for a long, long time and then we can cross that path when we're in our 80s :) They both are going to keep an eye on him and they took some baseline tests so that way they'll know if things start to get worse. They also were both in favor of the new device for monitoring heart failure but both said to wait until the battery needs to be changed in his current device (probably next year). So that's where we are with all of that :)
We are still praying and trying to find God's way for the next baby. I feel like there's one more out there for us and like I said earlier, I would love for Garrett to have a sibling. I don't see us doing anything until next year some time. That way we can make sure Tommy is on the upswing and will give us more time to get the finances in order :) We've also learned about a local agency and may meet with them to find out how their services work. I'll be honest, while we loved working with Bethany for Garrett's adoption, when we started back up for the second one, they had no idea of who we were. That's a little disappointing especially when you've invested that much money into an organization. So I'm not sure what we'll do about that route yet either. But I do know God will show us His way :)
Garrett is continuing to be the sweetest boy ever. He's talking more and more each day and I love to listen to him. His newest concern is asking "are you ok" and he'll ask until you give him a response, even if he's talking to himself :) He loves the beach and talks about going all the time. Last week I had "spring" break and we went to Myrtle Beach for the weekend. We took him to a resort that had an indoor kiddie water area and lazy river and he loved it. Every morning he would wake up, look outside and see the beach and then ask to go swimming. He's definitely a water baby. What makes my heart gleam even more is he is definitely a mama's boy :)
Continue to pray for us that we would not grow weary and that we'll continue to seek what God has in store for us!
Friday, February 1, 2013
Turns and twists
I know a while back I wrote about Tommy's heart being out of rhythm again. We went to the doctor a few weeks ago and he basically said that he would go ahead and schedule a cardioversion and then we would take a look at putting a new device in (one that controls heart failure). The cardioversion was scheduled for the 21st, which worked out great because we both were off of work already. We are usually out of the hospital within 3 hours so it's not something that takes all day. As Tommy was checking in, his doctor calls and the nurse has both of us go back to talk with him. He said that he had just gotten back from a national conference and learned some new things about this new blood thinner that Tommy has been on since the summer. He said that there wasn't enough research out there yet to make him comfortable with doing the cardioversion. He was worried about Tommy forming a blood clot after the procedure. So they've put him back on his "old" blood thinner and he should be having the cardioversion in the next couple of weeks. I know he's ready; he's tired and worried about it all. We also have appointments at Duke in early March to get some insight about what will be the best next steps as well.
Tuesday we had our homestudy renewal. Tommy had an awful day on Monday with still having this cold stuff and then the rhythm issue. It was so bad that he woke up around 2 that morning and couldn't go back to sleep. He drove himself to the point of worrying so bad that he had worked himself up and he was having trouble breathing. He went to the doctor and everything checked out fine so we knew it was just him. I asked if he wanted to postpone the homestudy meeting but he said he'd be fine.
We met the new social worker and went over things and it went well. However, I couldn't shake this "not feeling right" feeling that I was experiencing while she was here. We went to lunch afterwards and it was still the same. Tommy and I talked and he said he wasn't sure how he felt. I know he mainly said that because he didn't want to hurt me by saying let's wait. So when Tuesday night rolled around and I couldn't sleep, I knew something was up. I prayed and prayed and asked God to show me what He wants us to do. I'm worried about a lot of things with this one. First, getting Tommy back on track with his heart. Second, the money side of it. Adoption is so expensive and even with the tax credit, this money comes out of your pocket first. I know God can provide but at this point I felt like He was tugging at my heart saying you need to wait. When we got up the next morning I told Tommy how I was feeling. He agreed and said he didn't feel completely right about it either. I talked with the social worker over the phone and explained things to her to see what would be the best course of action. Since the homestudy is nowhere near being final, we wanted to make a decision now so we wouldn't be out of more money. She said at this point our best course of action would be to withdraw from the program. If we decide to move forward later on then we could and we can basically pick up with where we've left off. I talked with Tommy again that night and we both felt the best thing for us to do right now is to wait. As soon as we made the decision my heart felt at peace. I know we've made the right decision.
Don't get me wrong, it has always been a dream of mine to have children. I have no idea where God is leading us or what He has in store for us but I do know that it's better than anything I could come up with on my own. I worry that if Garrett is our only one how will he fare as an only child. And then again God may choose to bless us with another child. I do know that we prayed for him for so long I do feel completely blessed to be his mom and if he is all I ever have, I have more than enough.
We would appreciate your prayers as we seek God's will for our family.
Tuesday we had our homestudy renewal. Tommy had an awful day on Monday with still having this cold stuff and then the rhythm issue. It was so bad that he woke up around 2 that morning and couldn't go back to sleep. He drove himself to the point of worrying so bad that he had worked himself up and he was having trouble breathing. He went to the doctor and everything checked out fine so we knew it was just him. I asked if he wanted to postpone the homestudy meeting but he said he'd be fine.
We met the new social worker and went over things and it went well. However, I couldn't shake this "not feeling right" feeling that I was experiencing while she was here. We went to lunch afterwards and it was still the same. Tommy and I talked and he said he wasn't sure how he felt. I know he mainly said that because he didn't want to hurt me by saying let's wait. So when Tuesday night rolled around and I couldn't sleep, I knew something was up. I prayed and prayed and asked God to show me what He wants us to do. I'm worried about a lot of things with this one. First, getting Tommy back on track with his heart. Second, the money side of it. Adoption is so expensive and even with the tax credit, this money comes out of your pocket first. I know God can provide but at this point I felt like He was tugging at my heart saying you need to wait. When we got up the next morning I told Tommy how I was feeling. He agreed and said he didn't feel completely right about it either. I talked with the social worker over the phone and explained things to her to see what would be the best course of action. Since the homestudy is nowhere near being final, we wanted to make a decision now so we wouldn't be out of more money. She said at this point our best course of action would be to withdraw from the program. If we decide to move forward later on then we could and we can basically pick up with where we've left off. I talked with Tommy again that night and we both felt the best thing for us to do right now is to wait. As soon as we made the decision my heart felt at peace. I know we've made the right decision.
Don't get me wrong, it has always been a dream of mine to have children. I have no idea where God is leading us or what He has in store for us but I do know that it's better than anything I could come up with on my own. I worry that if Garrett is our only one how will he fare as an only child. And then again God may choose to bless us with another child. I do know that we prayed for him for so long I do feel completely blessed to be his mom and if he is all I ever have, I have more than enough.
We would appreciate your prayers as we seek God's will for our family.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Two years ago
I can't believe the time has come and my sweet boy is now 2! We prayed for so long that God would grant us the desires of our hearts and allow us to become parents and He answered in a mighty way. I am forever grateful for that and for a sweet woman who chose life and chose us to become Garrett's parents. My heart is filled with joy today in remembering all of the sweet times we've had. He's had a big day today and still isn't 100% better yet but he's still had fun. I love to listen to him talk and I love all of the sweet love he gives us!
We went to party city the other day to order balloons for today. He was fascinated by the balloons and was carrying on a conversation with the guy who worked there. When we got ready to leave, Garrett looked at the guy and said "love you." Ha ha. I don't know what was funnier, Garrett saying that to a stranger or the look of shock on the guy's face (he was young). But what can I say, I have a sweet boy!
Happy 2nd birthday, Garrett! Mommy and daddy love you so much!
We went to party city the other day to order balloons for today. He was fascinated by the balloons and was carrying on a conversation with the guy who worked there. When we got ready to leave, Garrett looked at the guy and said "love you." Ha ha. I don't know what was funnier, Garrett saying that to a stranger or the look of shock on the guy's face (he was young). But what can I say, I have a sweet boy!
Happy 2nd birthday, Garrett! Mommy and daddy love you so much!
Sunday, January 13, 2013
A long, overdue update
As for an adoption update, first we are so thankful that the adoption tax credit was renewed (and it looks like it's permanent). All of our paperwork was received before Thanksgiving and we were assigned a new social worker about a week ago. Our old social worker has retired :( As of right now, we have our homestudy update meeting scheduled for the end of the month. Then she'll have 30 days to write up a report and then we will be officially waiting again. Right now it's been much easier with the waiting on things this go round, probably because we are so busy with a very active (almost) 2 year old!
Speaking of that sweet boy, can you believe he will be 2 in 6 days?? I can't! It's amazing to look back and see how much he's grown. He's speaking in short phrases now and it's so funny to listen to what he picks up on. He knows his ABC's, can count to 10, knows his body parts, colors, and what sounds animals make. He LOVES anything with wheels and airplanes. He is constantly running around and playing. He loves to give kisses and even tells us "love you" now. It's the sweetest thing ever! He moved up to the next class at his preschool and so far it's going well. It still blows my mind to think it was 2 years ago that we were waiting to meet him; I remember those days like it was yesterday.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Heavy heart
My heart has felt so heavy over the past week or so. My thoughts have been with Garrett's birthmother and what's going on with her. We have a semi-open adoption, which can mean a lot of different things, but for us all communication is done through the agency. I knew I was running a bit behind on sending in this month's update so I sent her social worker an email to let her know. I always feel bad if I don't get them in before the end of the month because I don't want her to ever feel like we've forgotten about her. I know to some people this may seem completely strange but I have a deep love and respect for her--she was the one who carried and gave birth to a boy that I now call my son. She only asked for updates for the first two years of his life. Maybe that's why this is hitting me so differently now (that's a whole different story that he'll be 2 in four short months). I'm still going to send in updates on his birthday but it just feels different. We never hear back from her; the only time I ever know anything about her is if I email her social worker and ask. She did send Garrett a Christmas and Birthday card and told us that she appreciated all of the updates. I'm thankful that her social worker is always willing to share. I just want her to know that she is loved and that we do think about her all of the time. I am so thankful that she chose life and chose us to be Garrett's parents. I feel better now just typing it out :)
This weekend we go to Asheville. On Friday we attend the orientation meeting that is required for us to proceed with the second adoption. We are excited and a little nervous at the same time; I think nervous because we somewhat know what to expect this time around :) We have all of our paperwork complete with the exception of our physicals. Tommy goes on Thursday and I go on Monday. Then everything will be finished on our end. Once we mail that paperwork off and they receive it, we should be set to go with our homestudy renewal. We should only have one meeting for that and then we'll be "officially" waiting again.
I haven't updated on Tommy's health in a while either. He's actually doing great. He hasn't had any "major" episodes since last May which is a huge deal. It's been a long time since he's gone over a year without having to visit the hospital. He had a check-up last week and his doctor did discuss the idea of putting in a new ICD (pacemaker/defibrillator) that helps people who have congenital heart defects and heart failure. His doctor wants to talk it over to make sure it would be a benefit for Tommy with some other surgeons and then meet back with both of us in 3 months (he knows that I'm the one who asks all the questions). They would likely do the surgery over the summer. It shouldn't be anything too bad because the existing device is in and they would just replace it and add a lead for the heart failure piece. The only catch is they need a certain vein to do this. If Tommy's isn't there (from all of the surgeries) then they will have to make an incision down his side to run the wires. So we're praying the vein is there!
Garrett is still doing great in school! He had one day where he was the angel child we know him to be :) His teachers are great though and we feel blessed to have him there! He's talking up a storm and LOVES to sing. We're going to take him to the apple orchard while we're up in the mountains :) I promise to post some pictures soon.
This weekend we go to Asheville. On Friday we attend the orientation meeting that is required for us to proceed with the second adoption. We are excited and a little nervous at the same time; I think nervous because we somewhat know what to expect this time around :) We have all of our paperwork complete with the exception of our physicals. Tommy goes on Thursday and I go on Monday. Then everything will be finished on our end. Once we mail that paperwork off and they receive it, we should be set to go with our homestudy renewal. We should only have one meeting for that and then we'll be "officially" waiting again.
I haven't updated on Tommy's health in a while either. He's actually doing great. He hasn't had any "major" episodes since last May which is a huge deal. It's been a long time since he's gone over a year without having to visit the hospital. He had a check-up last week and his doctor did discuss the idea of putting in a new ICD (pacemaker/defibrillator) that helps people who have congenital heart defects and heart failure. His doctor wants to talk it over to make sure it would be a benefit for Tommy with some other surgeons and then meet back with both of us in 3 months (he knows that I'm the one who asks all the questions). They would likely do the surgery over the summer. It shouldn't be anything too bad because the existing device is in and they would just replace it and add a lead for the heart failure piece. The only catch is they need a certain vein to do this. If Tommy's isn't there (from all of the surgeries) then they will have to make an incision down his side to run the wires. So we're praying the vein is there!
Garrett is still doing great in school! He had one day where he was the angel child we know him to be :) His teachers are great though and we feel blessed to have him there! He's talking up a storm and LOVES to sing. We're going to take him to the apple orchard while we're up in the mountains :) I promise to post some pictures soon.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Exciting news!
I know I said last time I was going to be back in full force with my blog entries. Um ok, I failed :) Life has been so busy lately and honestly I love soaking up every minute I can with my sweet baby boy. Who by the way doesn't look like a "baby" anymore :( I started back to work during the first part of August and it was hard coming back. I miss being with Garrett and seeing his little smiling face. But I do know that God has me where I am for a reason....to reach out and touch the lives of these students that I work with everyday. For that I am grateful. The school year has started off great and my classes are awesome. I'm so fortunate to be able to work at such a great school and I'm counting the days until Garrett will get to come with me.
After much discussion, Tommy and I decided it was time to move Garrett to a preschool full time. My Grandmother has watched him at our house since he was 2.5 months old. It was a hard decision to make but with him being so mobile I know it was getting to be too much for her. We also feel like the interaction with the other children will be good for him. So on Tuesday, he started preschool for the first time. He did great but his mama had a rough time! It was so hard leaving him there and as I walked out of the room the director gave me a pep talk and told me to call later and check on him. That's one of the reasons why we chose this place. The people there are awesome. It's also a faith based center which is nice. So at lunch I called to check on him and his teacher said he was doing great. They couldn't believe that he had never been to daycare because he was doing so well. They have a slide in their class which he loves. He ate his lunch but only took a 30 minute nap :) They sleep on those little cots so I was worried he wouldn't sleep at all. Yesterday he managed to sleep for an hour and fifteen minutes :) He also came home with his first piece of artwork-a mixture of colors. He was playing when I got there and he took me around to show me the toys. He seems so happy to be there and that makes me so glad. So far he's had a great 2 days!
The other exciting news is that we have decided to start the adoption process again. Thankfully we haven't had to redo everything since we are going with Bethany again. We have had to fill out and sign paperwork which we finished this past weekend. The only things left to do are getting physicals, attending the orientation meeting, and we should only have one homestudy visit. I'm hoping we can get these things finished and be "officially waiting" by the first of the year. We would definitely appreciate your prayers as we embark on this journey again!
Pictures coming soon :)
After much discussion, Tommy and I decided it was time to move Garrett to a preschool full time. My Grandmother has watched him at our house since he was 2.5 months old. It was a hard decision to make but with him being so mobile I know it was getting to be too much for her. We also feel like the interaction with the other children will be good for him. So on Tuesday, he started preschool for the first time. He did great but his mama had a rough time! It was so hard leaving him there and as I walked out of the room the director gave me a pep talk and told me to call later and check on him. That's one of the reasons why we chose this place. The people there are awesome. It's also a faith based center which is nice. So at lunch I called to check on him and his teacher said he was doing great. They couldn't believe that he had never been to daycare because he was doing so well. They have a slide in their class which he loves. He ate his lunch but only took a 30 minute nap :) They sleep on those little cots so I was worried he wouldn't sleep at all. Yesterday he managed to sleep for an hour and fifteen minutes :) He also came home with his first piece of artwork-a mixture of colors. He was playing when I got there and he took me around to show me the toys. He seems so happy to be there and that makes me so glad. So far he's had a great 2 days!
The other exciting news is that we have decided to start the adoption process again. Thankfully we haven't had to redo everything since we are going with Bethany again. We have had to fill out and sign paperwork which we finished this past weekend. The only things left to do are getting physicals, attending the orientation meeting, and we should only have one homestudy visit. I'm hoping we can get these things finished and be "officially waiting" by the first of the year. We would definitely appreciate your prayers as we embark on this journey again!
Pictures coming soon :)
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