Before I get to some pictures, we had some news come down the pipeline this week. Our social worker emailed to let us know that the birthparents social worker had emailed. The birthfather wants to meet us and the baby. We knew that he had asked about this before placement but honestly didn't think he'd follow through. I think it was initiated by the social worker up there, as she was doing her monthly check-in, not him calling her requesting this. Anyways, she told our social worker that he wanted to meet and would it be possible in the next couple of weeks. We'd meet at a restaurant and their social worker would be present. Well the thing is, if it's in 2 weeks, that's my last week at home; any time after that and I'm back at work. My social worker said we have a say so in all of this too. We also have about a 6.5 hour drive to get there with the baby. So that means an overnight stay somewhere and then getting up to meet him for 2 hours. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to be able to tell Garrett about his bio. dad. but we were told it would be a few months "down the road." We're only a month into this and actually just now feel like he's getting used to us and us to him. I sent an email back today saying that we'd be willing to meet but if it couldn't happen over a weekend, then they'd have to wait until school gets out for summer. We're really not trying to be difficult, there's just so much going on right now. I'd love to hear your thoughts!
And without further ado, here's the latest of our Doodlebug! **Ok, scratch the pictures, something's going on with the upload :( I'll post them tomorrow!
Wow, that month went fast! I think that you are being reasonable about the timing of the visit. You are willing, but it has to work around your work schedule. We have the same issue with scheduling our next visit with L's birthparents and have made them aware of what times will work for us.
ReplyDeletei think your email about the bio dad meeting is reasonable. keep us posted on how things play out! i'm hoping everyone will understand :)
ReplyDeleteTrisha, I think that is a totally reasonable thing to do as well. You aren't stalling or putting it off because you are uncomfortable or being over-possessive, you have a one-month old! Any trip anywhere is going to take a lot. It's okay to focus on your little family right now as long as it's not going to mean that you are going to exclude his birthfamily in the long run, which I know you totally aren't! :)
ReplyDeleteWe didn't meet with Audrey's birthmom until the date her adoption was finalized at almost three months old. She was three hours away at that time and we eventually decided to meet in the middle just to cut down on our time on the road, although I do think it is wise to have a SW around for as long as you need. All birthparents are different and it helps to have a 'neutral' party.
Basically, I'm trying to say I think you are making the right choices and try not to feel bad when things don't work out the way you think the birthfamily wants. Life happens and we are all just doing the best we can. Now I am off to write my weeks overdue letter to A's birthmom (I did get the photos sent on time ;P)
~Koelle
Wow...his first month went fast. I think you are making the right decision, you didn't say no, you just need the time to be convienent for your family, nothing wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteAgreed that this month FLEW!! I can't believe it.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I think you are making the right decision about prolonging the meeting...do it when it is right for you and hopefully he will respect it.