Heavy heart

My heart has felt so heavy over the past week or so.  My thoughts have been with Garrett's birthmother and what's going on with her.  We have a semi-open adoption, which can mean a lot of different things, but for us all communication is done through the agency.  I knew I was running a bit behind on sending in this month's update so I sent her social worker an email to let her know.  I always feel bad if I don't get them in before the end of the month because I don't want her to ever feel like we've forgotten about her.  I know to some people this may seem completely strange but I have a deep love and respect for her--she was the one who carried and gave birth to a boy that I now call my son.  She only asked for updates for the first two years of his life.  Maybe that's why this is hitting me so differently now (that's a whole different story that he'll be 2 in four short months).  I'm still going to send in updates on his birthday but it just feels different.  We never hear back from her; the only time I ever know anything about her is if I email her social worker and ask.  She did send Garrett a Christmas and Birthday card and told us that she appreciated all of the updates.  I'm thankful that her social worker is always willing to share.  I just want her to know that she is loved and that we do think about her all of the time.  I am so thankful that she chose life and chose us to be Garrett's parents.  I feel better now just typing it out :) 

This weekend we go to Asheville.  On Friday we attend the orientation meeting that is required for us to proceed with the second adoption.  We are excited and a little nervous at the same time; I think nervous because we somewhat know what to expect this time around :)  We have all of our paperwork complete with the exception of our physicals.  Tommy goes on Thursday and I go on Monday.  Then everything will be finished on our end.  Once we mail that paperwork off and they receive it, we should be set to go with our homestudy renewal.  We should only have one meeting for that and then we'll be "officially" waiting again.  

I haven't updated on Tommy's health in a while either.  He's actually doing great.  He hasn't had any "major" episodes since last May which is a huge deal.  It's been a long time since he's gone over a year without having to visit the hospital.  He had a check-up last week and his doctor did discuss the idea of putting in a new ICD (pacemaker/defibrillator) that helps people who have congenital heart defects and heart failure.  His doctor wants to talk it over to make sure it would be a benefit for Tommy with some other surgeons and then meet back with both of us in 3 months (he knows that I'm the one who asks all the questions).  They would likely do the surgery over the summer.  It shouldn't be anything too bad because the existing device is in and they would just replace it and add a lead for the heart failure piece.  The only catch is they need a certain vein to do this.  If Tommy's isn't there (from all of the surgeries) then they will have to make an incision down his side to run the wires.  So we're praying the vein is there!  

Garrett is still doing great in school!  He had one day where he was the angel child we know him to be :)  His teachers are great though and we feel blessed to have him there!  He's talking up a storm and LOVES to sing.  We're going to take him to the apple orchard while we're up in the mountains :)  I promise to post some pictures soon.