Heavy heart

My heart has felt so heavy over the past week or so.  My thoughts have been with Garrett's birthmother and what's going on with her.  We have a semi-open adoption, which can mean a lot of different things, but for us all communication is done through the agency.  I knew I was running a bit behind on sending in this month's update so I sent her social worker an email to let her know.  I always feel bad if I don't get them in before the end of the month because I don't want her to ever feel like we've forgotten about her.  I know to some people this may seem completely strange but I have a deep love and respect for her--she was the one who carried and gave birth to a boy that I now call my son.  She only asked for updates for the first two years of his life.  Maybe that's why this is hitting me so differently now (that's a whole different story that he'll be 2 in four short months).  I'm still going to send in updates on his birthday but it just feels different.  We never hear back from her; the only time I ever know anything about her is if I email her social worker and ask.  She did send Garrett a Christmas and Birthday card and told us that she appreciated all of the updates.  I'm thankful that her social worker is always willing to share.  I just want her to know that she is loved and that we do think about her all of the time.  I am so thankful that she chose life and chose us to be Garrett's parents.  I feel better now just typing it out :) 

This weekend we go to Asheville.  On Friday we attend the orientation meeting that is required for us to proceed with the second adoption.  We are excited and a little nervous at the same time; I think nervous because we somewhat know what to expect this time around :)  We have all of our paperwork complete with the exception of our physicals.  Tommy goes on Thursday and I go on Monday.  Then everything will be finished on our end.  Once we mail that paperwork off and they receive it, we should be set to go with our homestudy renewal.  We should only have one meeting for that and then we'll be "officially" waiting again.  

I haven't updated on Tommy's health in a while either.  He's actually doing great.  He hasn't had any "major" episodes since last May which is a huge deal.  It's been a long time since he's gone over a year without having to visit the hospital.  He had a check-up last week and his doctor did discuss the idea of putting in a new ICD (pacemaker/defibrillator) that helps people who have congenital heart defects and heart failure.  His doctor wants to talk it over to make sure it would be a benefit for Tommy with some other surgeons and then meet back with both of us in 3 months (he knows that I'm the one who asks all the questions).  They would likely do the surgery over the summer.  It shouldn't be anything too bad because the existing device is in and they would just replace it and add a lead for the heart failure piece.  The only catch is they need a certain vein to do this.  If Tommy's isn't there (from all of the surgeries) then they will have to make an incision down his side to run the wires.  So we're praying the vein is there!  

Garrett is still doing great in school!  He had one day where he was the angel child we know him to be :)  His teachers are great though and we feel blessed to have him there!  He's talking up a storm and LOVES to sing.  We're going to take him to the apple orchard while we're up in the mountains :)  I promise to post some pictures soon.  

Exciting news!

I know I said last time I was going to be back in full force with my blog entries.  Um ok, I failed :)  Life has been so busy lately and honestly I love soaking up every minute I can with my sweet baby boy.  Who by the way doesn't look like a "baby" anymore :(  I started back to work during the first part of August and it was hard coming back.  I miss being with Garrett and seeing his little smiling face.  But I do know that God has me where I am for a reason....to reach out and touch the lives of these students that I work with everyday.  For that I am grateful.  The school year has started off great and my classes are awesome.  I'm so fortunate to be able to work at such a great school and I'm counting the days until Garrett will get to come with me.

After much discussion, Tommy and I decided it was time to move Garrett to a preschool full time.  My Grandmother has watched him at our house since he was 2.5 months old.  It was a hard decision to make but with him being so mobile I know it was getting to be too much for her.  We also feel like the interaction with the other children will be good for him.  So on Tuesday, he started preschool for the first time.  He did great but his mama had a rough time!  It was so hard leaving him there and as I walked out of the room the director gave me a pep talk and told me to call later and check on him.  That's one of the reasons why we chose this place.  The people there are awesome.  It's also a faith based center which is nice.  So at lunch I called to check on him and his teacher said he was doing great.  They couldn't believe that he had never been to daycare because he was doing so well.  They have a slide in their class which he loves.  He ate his lunch but only took a 30 minute nap :)  They sleep on those little cots so I was worried he wouldn't sleep at all.  Yesterday he managed to sleep for an hour and fifteen minutes :)  He also came home with his first piece of artwork-a mixture of colors. He was playing when I got there and he took me around to show me the toys.  He seems so happy to be there and that makes me so glad.  So far he's had a great 2 days!

The other exciting news is that we have decided to start the adoption process again.  Thankfully we haven't had to redo everything since we are going with Bethany again.  We have had to fill out and sign paperwork which we finished this past weekend.  The only things left to do are getting physicals, attending the orientation meeting, and we should only have one homestudy visit.  I'm hoping we can get these things finished and be "officially waiting" by the first of the year.  We would definitely appreciate your prayers as we embark on this journey again!

Pictures coming soon :)